“The Unspoken Rules of Online Business No One Tells Women 40+ (But Should)”

lifestyle

Jun 17

Welcome to the part of the internet where reinvention isn’t just allowed, t’s the main event. If you’re 40+, you’ve likely lived several lives already: maybe as a mom, a career woman, a creative, a healer, a fire-starter, or all of the above. And now, you’re craving something that’s yours. A business, a new identity, and a voice that echoes online.

Yet, stepping into the digital world isn’t all Canva templates and clever captions. There’s a language no one teaches, a vibe you’re expected to catch, and a million unwritten rules that feel like accidentally you walked into a party where everyone else knows the dance but you.

Let’s fix that.

Here are the unspoken, slightly sassy, always empowering rules of online business that no one tells women 40+—but definitely should.

Here are the unspoken, slightly sassy, always empowering rules of online business that no one tells women 40+ but definitely should.

1. Your Online Presence Is Your Handshake

In the real world, you’d never show up to a client meeting wearing mismatched socks, with spinach in your teeth and a business card that says “HotMama73.” But online? That’s exactly what many new entrepreneurs unknowingly do.

Examples of silent turn-offs:

Using an outdated email address (yes, we see you, Yahoo and AOL)
No profile picture, or one cropped from a 2003 family BBQ
A website that’s still “under construction” 9 months after your big announcement
Bios that say “Just a mom trying to figure this out” instead of owning your brilliance

Fix it: Audit your digital front door. Make sure your email, socials, and website feel cohesive, aligned, and reflective of the YOU you’re becoming, not the you, who’s still apologizing for trying.

2. Don’t Ghost, Don’t Gush

Digital communication is its own art. And the biggest unspoken rule? Respect the middle ground between disappearing and drowning people in digital word soup.

Examples of etiquette fails:

Sending an initial message, getting a reply—and never responding again
Sending a 17-paragraph DM with your life story and business pitch
Commenting “DM me!” on someone else’s launch post (please no)
Over-apologizing in emails: "Sorry to bother you, I'm just wondering if maybe..."

Fix it: Think of digital relationships like real ones. Be warm, but clear. Be responsive, not clingy. You’re a peer, not a pest. Use short, intentional messages that respect people’s time and show you’ve got your act together.

3. Know When to Zoom In & When to Log Off

In the Zoom room, you’re still making an impression, even from the waist up. Respect is visible in the little things.

Examples of digital professionalism:

Logging in late to a call without warning or apology
Eating a full lunch on camera while someone’s sharing their screen
Not muting your mic when your dog (or your 5-year-old) goes off
Emailing long, unstructured messages without a clear ask

Fix it: Treat video calls like face-to-face meetings: show up on time, prepared, and engaged. For emails, use headers, bullet points, and clarity. Your reader should never need espresso and a decoder ring to figure out what you need.

✨ Want to show up online with more confidence, clarity, and class?

The Elegant Entrepreneur’s Etiquette Cheat Sheet provides a concise guide to mastering the unwritten rules of digital business. Launching, pitching, or just emailing? Your presence will get an instant upgrade.

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4. Value Before the Ask

Want people to buy, follow, or share? Then show up with something first. A story. A tip. A laugh. A reason to care.

Examples of doing it wrong:

Cold pitching your offer with zero context or relationship
Dropping a sales link in someone’s DMs out of nowhere
Asking for help without showing any curiosity about the person you’re messaging
Launching a product before ever serving or teaching your audience

Fix it: Serve before you sell. Teach something valuable. Entertain. Inspire. Make people think or smile. Build trust before asking for transactions. The internet may be fast, but relationships are still built on value.

5. Be a Brand, Not a Bystander

This is your show. Your business. Your platform. Don’t stand at the edge of the digital dance floor like you weren’t invited. You own the room now.

Common missteps:

Inconsistent posting, brand colors, and voice that confuse your audience
Sharing random quotes one day, political rants the next, and then ghosting for a month
Having no clear message, niche, or point of view
Using passive language like “trying to…” or “I think I might…”

Fix it: Define your voice, message, and vibe. Choose a few brand colors and fonts, stick to your message pillars, and show up consistently. People need to know who you are, what you do, and why they should trust you, within 30 seconds of landing on your content.

6. Speak with Confidence, Not Corporate Confusion

You don’t need to sound like a LinkedIn robot to sound professional. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. People crave clarity, personality, and warmth.

Examples of what to ditch:

“Let’s synergize to optimize scalable deliverables.” (No one talks like that at brunch.)
Apologizing for promoting your own services
Writing every sentence like it’s a legal contract
Trying to “sound smart” and ending up unreadable

Fix it: Write like a woman who knows who she is. Clear beats clever. Use plain language, powerful words, and your natural tone. People want to connect with you, not your MBA thesis.

7. Never Let Tech Intimidate You into Silence

This one is close to my heart. Because if you’ve ever stared at a screen and whispered, “I can’t do this,” you’re not alone. But also? That voice is lying.

Tech trip-ups that keep women stuck:

Not launching because “I don’t know how to build a site”
Avoiding content creation because Canva feels overwhelming
Staying off social because “I don’t know how reels work”
Postponing offers until everything is pixel-perfect

Fix it: Google it. Ask for help. Try the messy version first. Done is better than perfect. Clarity comes through action, not before it. And guess what? The most successful people you admire? They started out confused too.

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Final Word: There’s no expiration date on reinvention. And there’s no rule saying you need to know everything before you start. But if you want to build a business that reflects your brilliance, you do need to understand the language of the digital world, and make it your own.

So go ahead. Be the woman who walks into the room (or the Zoom) with grace, boldness, and an email address that screams "CEO energy."

You’ve got this.

— Martrutt